Book:
How to win friends and Influence people Author: Dale Carnegie

Subject Area: Communication

Post number: 4

English version:

How to win people to your way of thinking!

Lesson 7: Always make suggestions and guide the other people to your idea indirectly.. No one likes to be sold something or told to do something. "The reason why Rivers and the sea receive the homage of thousands of mountain streams is because they keep low below them. So the Sage, wishing to be above men, puts himself below them . Wishing to be before them, puts himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they don't feel his weight. Though his place be before them, they don't count it as a injury" – Chinese proverb.

Let the others think the idea is theirs.

Lesson 8: Other people may be totally wrong... But they don't think so. Any fool can condemn them. But only a wise person can try to understand them. Try to honestly put yourself in his shoes. The success with dealing with other people is a sympathetic grasp of the other person's view point. Yes, you are interested in your own affairs more. But so is everyone else. Realise that and you have the key to success in relations.

Co operation is achieved when you show that the other person's opinion and ideas are as important as your own. Before asking anyone to do something, Ask yourself, "Why would I want to do it, If I were them?".

Try Honestly to see things from the other person's view point

Lesson 9: Show Sympathy. Realise that if you were in their shoes, with their temperament and attitudes, you would do exactly as them. It is just by luck/God's Grace, you are you and not him/her. The Human species universally craves for sympathy.

Be Sympathetic with the other person's idea's and desires.

Lesson 10: To move the person, always appeal to the nobler motives. For instance, when the famous guy doesn't want his kids picture in the newspaper, He doesn't tell the journalist that he doesn't like it. He tells them, we all care about kids safety. They don't want their kids picture public either. It is not safe for the kids.

Appeal to the nobler motives

Lesson 11: Dramatize a little. If ads can do it and Movies can do it,so can you and me!

Dramatize your ideas

Lesson 12: Generate competition. Not a money generating competition... but in the desire to excel. This desire and achievement in it makes people feel important.

Throw down a challenge

Summarizing, The Ways to win people to think your ways are

1. The only way to get best of an argument is to avoid it
   
2. Show respect for the other person's opinion. Never say "you're wrong".
   
3. If you are wrong admit it quickly and emphatically
   
4. Begin in a friendly way!
   
5. Get the other person saying "yes", "yes" immediately!
   
6. Let the other person do a great deal of talking
   
7. Let the others think the idea is theirs.
   
8. Try Honestly to see things from the other person's view point
   
9. Be Sympathetic with the other person's idea's and desires.
   
10. Appeal to the nobler motives
    
11. Dramatize your ideas
    
12. Throw down a challenge
    

p.s: Please note this is just a short condensed review / my thoughts of the book and is not intended to infringe on any rights or anything like that. For a complete understanding of the subject, I strongly recommend to buy the book yourself or rent it out from a library and read it.